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Underneath an Abject Window Abject. ab-ject. adj. Allowing no hope of improvement or relief. Window. win-dow. n. An opportunity to see or experience something. Underneath an abject window. We are. Ours all. Shared. Exception none. Fear not death, death makes all equal. Here we sit, holding precious every breath. Waiting like one to many last chances. Petrified by the knowledge that exhalation or exaltation must follow. Let go. Let it all go. We long to weaken and weaken too long. Each day a silken thread. Silk allows no light. Age is darkness descending. Descent is petulance...once a man, twice a child. Tears tear at once peaceful paper cheeks. Surrender. Surrender to the noiseless air. Surrounded by solid establishment. Faded upholstery spotlights. There. Here. Their here. You have me now but will I ever be yours? Waiting wanting. Oily vying and days in lieu. Young. Calcium rich bones and cushy laughs, while all the while others aspire to numb. Too numb. Numb. Every lie whispered is a half-truth about a liar. Suffocating in freedom they go. It isn't what you thought it might have been. It isn't what it was. It isn't what it wasn't...It isn't. It dwells in all. Caress edges. Lacy net curtain ghosts. Reaching and grabbing for the bits between the stars. Anointed, a-noted, described before, this coil, this long walk home. None. Neither. All. Breath again. Icy tickles, Tender cold goodbyes. Marble kisses role through mouth, Tingle lips. Have you seen them then? When all and every is taken. Here we sit, unwilling pupils of a lesson we are unable to learn. Give me my eternity of nothing. With it the inability to know I was right all along. What can it mean? Just a signal. The advent of lament for those left dwelling with the living. Eventually all song becomes a sigh. Underneath the abject window. – Accompanying prose by Matthew Crowley |